Is this for you?
Have you ever faced a trial or battle so strong, so consuming. That all you can do is lay in bed, weeping, and praying God please take my life...I can't handle this...please just take me home?
Day after day, night after night...tormented and tortured and deceived over and over again.....the destruction spoken so concise, so well aimed....that each word of hate and anger and abuse pierces your heart anew? Sometimes so lost...and broken....so shattered that you can't even form words...just cry like a wounded animal while your mind screams God kill me.....please just take me home.
Holding on to God with every fiber of your being..trying to fight back but so weak that the moment you find a sliver of hope...that razor comes slashing in and cuts it right before your eyes. Agony and despair....no hope of escape?
Well I am a true woman of God!!! I thought...that can never happen to me. But I was wrong. I was her. Too afraid to tell anyone...too ashamed to ask for help.
I am here to tell you. You are not alone. There is help. He will restore you. He will deliver you. At my weakest moment.....my darkest hour.....He heard me.......He came running.
He gave me a dream. In the dream I was dressed all in black.....even a veil of black covered my face.....I was in mouring for my own death...my own destruction caused by the very one I loved and trusted most. I was crawling on hands and knees around the foot of the cross. I held a basket....as I picked up every tiny shattered piece of my self from the ground I put it in the basket. I wept and moaned like a wounded animal incapable of forming a word...... When the basket was full....He appeared.
Jesus said.....my child, give me the basket.....I hugged the broken pieces of me that now filled the basket tightly to my chest.....and just looked at my Savior.
Again He said....my precious one....give me the basket. I tentaively looked once more At the baskets broken and shattered contents and slowly got up and walked to my Savior. Still weeping, filled with such sorrow.....I handed Him the basket.
He smiled and said.....behold my beloved....I make all things new. Immediately the basket was empty. My clothing was changed to white and I....the new....the joy filled....the hope renewed....new creature filled with life and love..........began to dance before my King.
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I don't know who this is for...,but I pray my testimony, written in 2016, can lead you to Him....because He longs to make you new as well.
In all Glory and Praise to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, Hallelujah. You are my King, evermore.
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