Being Single in a Couple's World as a Christian

by Shonda Ponder

I sat there listening to Christian Talk Radio which hosted a question and answer show about daily life as a Christian. This last question about a woman who recently lost her husband and is considering dating again made me feel ... odd.

On the show, they made the statement that "This is a couples world, and although there are a lot of single people out there, the overwhelming desire of singles is to have someone to 'belong' to, i.e. the desire for marriage."

I am not desiring to "belong to" anyone but God and I certainly am not looking forward to ever getting married again at this point. Does that make me strange?

Sometimes I feel like Christian teachings try to PUSH marriage and dating on people by making them feel inadequate if they don't. It's just WRONG.

Paul was content being single.

THIS is why I cringe at the notion of going to singles ministries. They are all focused on how one should act in a dating relationship. They have FAILED to address those of us who are desiring to wait on GOD's Timing, and need to focus on being SINGLE and content about it. .

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:

6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

This is addressing those who are consumed by their desires, who have not mastered the ability to focus solely on God as their provider, their friend, and their endearing other half. Those who cannot contain themselves in the presence of the opposite sex SHOULD marry. But those who can are blessed in that they focus on the things of God and not on pleasing another human being:

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

So where are the ministries that ENCOURAGE being single?

This article in Crosswalk.com makes my point about Christian Single's Ministries focusing on marriage. Although, ONE sentence in the article does make MY point:

"After all, every Christian’s first responsibility is to seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness "

This statement is over-ridden, however, in the rest of the article. I find this unfortunate:

How can I find out who God wants me to marry?

We need more articles that PRAISE being single, that PRAISE singles who are looking for their sustainability in a God who keeps their heart from loneliness and distraction from HIM.